Evaluations

When Kaitlyn gets an evaluation it usually means it is for a new therapy or to track where she is at developmentally. Most of the time I'm prepared for what I will hear, but Kaitlyn just had an evaluation for Occupational Therapy, I was so excited because over the phone they told me that they see children at their facility and the therapist also specializes in feeding I was so excited!!! I never realized I lived so far from it, heck it said riverside in the address, it was more like more valley, perris area so I was a little upset because I pictured the traffic going and coming to therapies n leaving my other two kids at home n just be gone longer than expected. I didn't like that idea. As I was driving there I had all three kids with me, Peter and Kaitlyn fell asleep, and not only was it real hot that day I took the wrong fwy and was going the opposite way, I took a deep breath and just turned around n kept driving. Once I realized how far it was even more I was a little more disappointed, we show up, parking is full so I park far and wake the kids up, change diapers and carry Peter hold Kaitlyns hand and have Emily hold on to the pocket on my pants and there we go. We open the door and OH MY GOSH it looked like an old persons home in there!! There was old people sitting there, there was old people music playing and the kids went in ready to destroy or break something. I go in look around and read a million different signs, one saying "Please find child care for your children when coming in for treatment" another said "sorry, there is no public restroom available" another said "no one is allowed in the treatment area, so any one coming with patient must wait in lobby" finally the last one I read was "if you're not seen within 5 minutes of your appointment please let receptionist know" I was trying to Chase after the kids, they had a million lamps there that the kids kept turning on and off, stools that they were jumping off of, little houses that are meant as a display and all that stuff looked like it would break so fast!!! I sign her in and still have that bad feeling like ugh I can't believe I showed up!!! I give her my military id and she's like is this her insurance card I was like -- yes all you need is my husbands info and you have the authorization letter from her insurance. She fives me back my card with a separate card that I have to "show" Everytime I go to that says no co pay. I got a little more upset because they can just write that down in her chart! I was still trying to keep up with my kids n everyone was staring, I kept thinking about it n didn't want to do the paperwork or even be there, that's when the thought came in on how I wished I can just call peter at work n ask him what he thought of the situation or even better have him there with me, even if he wasn't deployed he is usually never able to take time off work to just "go" anywhere. Then that crazy thought that always gets to me, I wished I didn't have to wish for her dad to be there because I wished she didn't have to be stuck with the monster inside of her. Why her, why us? But as I'm thinking this ready to cry because I couldn't keep up with all the crazy stuff they had in their office, I went up to the receptionist and told her I couldn't keep the appointment because it wasn't kid friendly and I asked can I bring my children to therapy? She said no, so they can't be in the lobby then either since your sign says that, she says "um well we don't have daycare" "I know you don't have daycare, but I always go into my daughters therapy sessions and I have no one else to watch my children and I can't let her go in alone. You know I just can't keep it I'm going to have to leave." She gets this look on her face like she is worried for what would happen there but also gets a sad face like she felt sorry for me.she quickly intercoms the therapist no answer, she calls the manager and she comes out and asks me what was wrong, I explained n she was nice n took us to a room where it was so hot n tiny n talks to me saying that maybe I can make arrangements with the therapist or something with the kids if I dont feel comfortable, then I can leave. I agreed, the therapist came in all nice and happy. The kids were already annoyed and didn't want to be there. It was so hot in there too!!! No vent in there for the ac! Anyway she asks me if Kaitlyn is just there for feeding, I said no she has a lot of different issues that need to be addressed, and I told her about them. She then asks me if she has a diagnosis of any other problems. I said speech delay and autism. Oh when was she diagnosed and at what level, she meets full criteria and she was diagnosed before she turned two and just got a different diagnosis in may. Then she goes on and on how there is no cure for autism, how she will always have it n there's only to a point where she can help her with skills but she will always have those problems. I was just thinking like oh man what did I get myself into!!!! And she kept going on and on then she did assesments and then as we were done she said that she didn't have anything available until next month!!! I was irritated then she gave me a feeding hand out. And said that kaitlyn might never eat foods I want her to eat, it may take her years to even try it. I was upset at that point n ignored her. Then I ended it again with, so can I bring my other children? She said no only kaitlyn. And if I want to see her therapy session I need to find child care for my other children. I was disappointed and then asked just out of curiosity where they worked with her since it was a huge facility but full of machines. She said oh I'm going to work with her in that room then that area over there. It was a tiny enclosed space! I grabbed the kids and left. When I left not only was it super hot but I was so disappointed in myself I wanted to cry. I changed diapers, put the kids in their seats and I drove off. I wanted to scream n burst out in tears!!! Why was I such an idiot to waste precious time and money that kaitlyn could be using somewhere else! I'm back at square one!!!! Now I have to wait till Monday to call our insurance n see if they can approve a different provider. This is my 3rd time changing this year and I'm afraid they will think I'm trying to use services everywhere. I don't know we'll see when I call. But one thing for sure, I'm not going back there again!!!!

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